Coaching

Having A Frame Of Mind For Success

Having A Frame Of Mind For Success

What is success? Enormous amounts of energy go into following the life of people who are “successful”, and nevertheless for most of us the type of victory of, say, a Brendan Fevola1 or a Paris Hilton2, is simply not what we’d need for ourselves. Success for us just might signify getting that job, hitting our ideal weight, finding that boyfriend – or being the boyfriend everybody wants to find, increasing our economical belongings to a specific point, regardless of whether that be longed-for comfort or vital wealth … Or that favourite of mine: the liberty and pleasure that comes from being completely at ease with yourself. So what’s your own personal mountain, the one you wish to climb and enjoy the view from? Once we have a unambiguous opinion of What success would mean to us, it’s time to evaluate the How. It is a much-loved slogan that it is 80 percent (or 95% or or …) about the state of mind and 20% skill set, and even though I think that’s wildly exaggerated, it’s true that without the state of mind you are likely to get nowhere in any area of your life.

The first, and I think non-negotiable, feature of this is the belief that you will be successful, and this needs to be present not merely on a conscious level, but also – and especially – on an unconscious level. If we don’t have faith that we can succeed, there will always be fear, uncertainty, the search for Plan B, “Yes, but …” and “What if it all goes wrong?” That consumes a huge amount of energy and focus – why would you ever put yourself through it?! The second thing is a willingness to take “risks”. Now, we all have unique withstanding limits, and it is important to keep that in mind. Nevertheless, remaining in our “comfort” zone means, really, staying where we are presently, and for many of us there will come a time when that does not look like something we want to be looking back on 20 years, or even 6 months, down the track. So risks, here we come! Start small, and work your way up the ladder! Thirdly, what messages are you sending yourself? Yes, you can write down your affirmations and gratitudes and put stickers on the refrigerator or bathroom mirror! Even more significant than this are the messages you send yourself with your actions. Three days before I began my training as a coach I hung up my board pens and walked (literally) out of the office and away from my teaching career. In my situation not actually a risk (I could simply go back), but I was sending myself a message: I’m not a teacher; I’m a coach. Coaching is “what I do”. There’s lots more that could be written with reference to this – several books have been, as a matter of fact. But the most vital questions you should ask yourself are: Do I want more success in any area of my life? And am I interested in doing what it takes to achieve that? 1 a renowned Bad Boy in Melbourne; he’s good at kicking pieces of leather amid wooden sticks, apparently. 2 I’ve yet not found out what she’s good at…

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